So before i start posting stuff back up and saying stuff back in the journal entry area, cuz we all know I've been gone for a really long time, I just have to pose the question.... How many ppl will actually look at this are of mine??? Will there be one??? Should I even bother???

Well this is a good way to find out, so plz leave me your comments and let me know if I should take sometime out of nothing and put something. Ok, thank you.

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Well its the start of one killer Memorial Day weekend, I have lots of things planed and it should prove to be one hell of an event. Friday I will start by playing World of Warcraft, eat no food and get no sleep. Then on Saturday I will STILL be playing World of Warcraft, and not eating or sleeping. Then when Sunday roles around I plan to still be playing World of Warcraft, without food, drink, or sleeping. And on the big day itself I will indulge myself of a little World of Warcraft, and of course there will be no food or drink or sleep, either. And what makes this weekend special, is that i dont have to worry about work on Monday... YEAH!!!!!!

Ok I did have some plans this weekend, was going to spend sometime with someone I though was a friend, but it turns out they changed plans and would rather spend it with the person they are going out with. Meh... no big thing to me... I mean its not like I am all that important anyway.

Well to all of you I hope you DO find something more fun then I plan to be doing this weekend, and enjoy yourselfs.

Now I have to go find the alcohol and some pills to make me seem happier to the masses. Later.

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Life... its a funny thing. In life you do lots of things, weither they are for good or ill. You meet lots of people, wether or not you are friends or enemies, they still have an impact on you. You exp. lots of things that help you to grow as a person, even if these things are painfull or full of bliss. Life is supposed to be a gift that is given to use, and do with as we want. Some work to helping others, and some just try to get by doing what they want and getting what they want. Everyone has a purpose, or so the saying goes. But what if there was one person that had no purpose here. What if that person could not find happiness or greif. What if no matter how they tried all they did was end up alone, time after time. Would it be sad if by living out there life all they ever did was nothing. Never had any friends to acknowledge that they even exsist. What if they had no hate to fuel there passion in something. Or even if they could not find love in anything they did. What would be the point of this one persons being in this existence. Is it right that they be left to just roam this world? Isnt that cruel? But maybe that is the reason they are here. To balance things out for others. So that the majority of the people out there can find happiness and this one person will take all the sadness. But what if they feel no sadness? At least that would still give there life meaning even if they where not happy. So what should be done for this one person who can find nothing... no matter how hard they try. I am sure there are some people out there that would say that this person is just giving up way to quickly. But think about how this person tries to fight in there own way, and still has nothing to show for it. Just emptiness.

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Sadness again grips my heartagain this morning, as i laid in bed. A fragement of a dream played across my half awarness, and i dearly wish that i had had pencil and paper next to me so that i could record what it was that was said between the two. It was beautiful, but at the sametime very sad. Two ppl where leaving, going on with what they where doing in there lives. But... not with each other. For some reason they could not, as if they understood there feelings for one another yet still did not understand what that meant. I heard there words to each other as clear as day, yet when i try to think on it now to write it down, I cant remember anything... except the emotion i felt when i hear d them. I say nothing of the two, only a whit piece of paper and someones had drawing lines, like an artist makeing the first lines of some chr. in a story. But as this fragement was nearing its ending the pen that was being used broke, and so did that dream.

Yeah most of you are thinking something, but i just wish that i could remember what was said to each other, and share it with someone. But i guess i am to live with this pain forever alone. What makes this pain, i do not know, and may never, but a fragement of some reality was shown to me, so maybe i was ment to see it and not remember or just to feel. Who knows...


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Well my art slowly moves on and my gameing contiues at full speed. For those of you who read this I highly recomend that you go out and get your self a copy of God of War. Great game. Other then that, its just me and the good old computer and anime/manga, nothing else really. Works just there. Last week i went down to Oregon and spent some time with some old friends. All cool and everything, showed me how to play a D&D version of Final Fantasy. Really cool. Well other then that nothing has been really going on.


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